(Photo by Taylor Hill/FilmMagic) c/o usatoday.com
If I ran into Kim Kardashian on the street, I would hug her. Like, really hug her. Not because I’m a creepy super fan, I actually have never even seen Keeping Up With the Kardashians, but because I think she could probably use a genuine hug right now. I couldn’t imagine being in her position. Yesterday, she announced that she and Kanye are pregnant with their second child and instead of being able to enjoy this exciting time in her life, she was met with accusations, criticism and basically flat-out cyber-bullying. And not just from bored, lonely people on the internet (although there was plenty of that), but even respected news outlets bullied her. USAtoday.com just blasted her for dressing overtly sexual IN A PAIR OF SKINNY JEANS AND A BLACK T-SHIRT! I mean seriously. I’m not saying I rock stilettos and bandage dresses when I’m pregnant, but let’s be honest, that’s not my style. I’ve always been more of a flip-flops, jeans and breezy tunic kind of girl. But, I find it ridiculous that because Kim is pregnant, she, or any woman for that matter, should change the way she dresses. Kim dresses sexy. Like it or not, that’s her style, and she rocks it. She’s got confidence and curves and she leaves nothing to the imagination. Why is it that because she is pregnant and a mother she should feel compelled to cover up, be uber-conservative and wear muumuus?! And why is everyone allowed to bully her?
I could not imagine what it would be like to have my journey into motherhood be on public display. Kim is a mom, and just like the rest of us, she’s doing her best. I have yet to meet a mom that doesn’t second guess every decision she makes, doubt herself, wonder if she’s doing what’s best for her baby, and struggle to find herself in motherhood. To have to do all that with the world judging you and putting you on display, I can’t even imagine. Look, don’t get me wrong, I don’t support everything that the Kardashians do, but I do think she’s doing her best just like the rest of us. Shortly after she had North, Kim was blasted for taking her to fashion shows and traveling internationally. But, if she had left her at home she would have been blasted for leaving her child with a nanny. People are saying she’s having babies to “accessorize herself” or to “stay in the limelight”, accusing her of hiring a surrogate and even news anchors on respected networks have been openly mocking her. One very popular and respected mommy blogger even went so far as to compare Kim to child-abusers in a post about why the blogger was frustrated people like Kim are able to pro-create, while she is left infertile. What is wrong with people?! First of all, if you didn’t know already, Kim has publicly discussed her own infertility issues. And secondly, why is it that because she lives her light in the limelight is it ok to bully her? Because that’s what it is. It is bullying. It’s cruel and it’s wrong. Like her or not, she is a human, she is a woman, she is a mom, and she has feelings too. It’s just sad. Kim, you do you. Be you. Dress sexy, flaunt your baby bump, wear your high heels and bandage dresses, bring your baby to fashion shows and tell the haters to get over it. I think it’s sad we’ve created a society that judges each other so harshly. Next time you judge another mom, take a moment to think about how you would feel if every moment of your life was on display.
When I became a mom, I remember as soon as I announced my pregnancy it seemed EVERYONE had an opinion on how I should raise my child. Everyone had an opinion on whether I should breastfeed, if I should stay home with my baby, what kind of diapers I should use, where my baby should sleep, what routine I should follow. It was so infuriating, because all I wanted was space to figure it out on my own, to discover what kind of mom I wanted to be, what resonated with me. I wanted to be able to fail, to learn, to find out what worked for me and my baby and to decide what was right for my family. It was hard enough when those opinions and judgments were coming from the women I knew and trusted – my mother, sisters, and closest friends, but I can’t imagine having complete and total strangers that I don’t know from the homeless man on the street telling me how I should dress, how I should be, what I should weigh, how I should announce my pregnancy, how I should care for my baby, what kind of mom I should be. It’s just wrong.
And the timing of it all is what I think shocks me the most. On a day in which “the internet”, social media, news outlets and basically anyone with a voice displayed amazing amounts of acceptance, love and respect for Caitlyn Jenner, simultaneously a message of hate, judgement and bullying was spit at Kim. I guess the real message sent on the inter webs yesterday was that bullying is not O.K., UNLESS you are a mom – then we can judge everything you do. In her Vanity Fair cover article Kim tells Caitlyn Jenner to “Be Happy, Be Proud, Live Life YOUR Way” It’s a shame the same sentiment isn’t reflected back on her. To Kim I say, Be happy. Be proud. Live life YOUR way. You look great and congratulations! And to everyone else I say SHAME ON YOU.
