I have figured it out – how to determine if you are ready for, or even want a bundle of joy in your life. It all comes down to two words – pregnancy scare. I know, a bit drastic, and could potentially backfire horribly…but hear me out.
I recently had a “situation” shortly after our 1 year anniversary and a massive amount of wine tasting in Santa Barbara. Let’s just say timing was a bit off – and while I am often one who is casually, fantastically late to the party. There are certain parties one doesn’t want to arrive late to, if you get my drift. Needless to say there was a slightly horrified, panicked call to my best friend/concierge doctor who spent the earlier part of her residency in OB/GYN. The conversation went something like this…
Me: So, If I was to be pregnant and didn’t know and spent a long weekend drinking wine at every vineyard in Santa Barbara….how bad would that be? Oh and I also keep forgetting to take those prenatal vitamins that are the size of paperweights, even though everyone says you should take them for at least three months before you start trying so you don’t have a baby with neural tube defects.
(My internal dialogue: She knows I’m a hypochondriac, she’s going to totally calm me down and tell me that it’s no big deal, women don’t know they are pregnant all the time and the babies are totally healthy. I’m pretty sure my mom was high for most of her first trimester with my sister and she turned out totally normal…)
Heather (concierge Dr./bestie):
That’s right folks…dead silence.
Internal dialogue: Oh SHIT! That’s not good, this is so not good, I’m a horrible person, I should be sterilized…
Heather (after a longer than acceptable pause): Well, I mean, you really should just take a test and find out, and go from there. It could be ok. But, just take a test.
Me: Awesome.
Fast forward two days, 4 minutes spent peeing on sticks, an unacceptably late arrival of my period, and a giant exhale.
So, that’s that. I’m done drinking completely and pre-natals MUST be taken nightly…not that I am “ready” to have a baby, but I am definitely NOT ready to accidentally have a baby.
And while my mind’s not made up quite yet, I am definitely moving in some sort of direction…so we’ll call it progress. Cheers to sparkling cider to wash down my horse pills full of Folic Acid.
